A Kind Word. A Miracle.

                                                                           

Being a mom of three under five is awesome.  Hard.  Awesome.  Really hard.  Really awesome.  I feel like I fluctuate between these two conclusions constantly and at a moment’s notice.  My son just screamed at me: hard.  My baby just laughed at me: awesome.  My two-year-old just pooped her pants: hard.  My son just picked me a flower and called me beautiful: awesome.  

Today is a difficult day, but I remind myself that tomorrow will probably be better, probably?  Hayes decided to throw a fit about something in the car, which lead to him being sent to his room, which lead to him screaming, which was exhausting.  Not to mention, I have been trying to get over strep throat.  It seems like kids have a radar for when we are at our weakest and see the opportunity to strike.   I am typing this as my baby lays on me, refusing to sleep, and she’s not too happy about it: hard.  But I am thinking about yesterday.  

Yesterday: awesome.  I had an eye appointment and nervously brought all three kids.  I was certain I would regret it, but they were perfect!  They sat when I told them to sit.  They were quiet when it was time to be quiet.  They followed.  They waited!  They kept their hands to themselves!!  Hazah!!  It was miraculous!  As a reward, I took them to a bakery a block away.  Again, I was quite sure I would come to regret my decision, but they were wonderful!  A day like this is needed for a mom (or dad).  

When I was working full time, I loved the sense of accomplishment  and the affirmation I would get for doing a good job.  Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t bring the same sense of accomplishment.  You don’t get the glowing report or the pay raise.  I spend all day trying to entertain, clean up, and look after these kids (and my house) and it seems, sometimes, like I did absolutely nothing.  

“Tell daddy what we learned about today!” 

“Ummm…cookies?”

 “No! castles!"

The house I just cleaned looks dirtier than before because someone decided to eat veggie fries “like a squirrel” and someone else just peed on the floor.  My efforts can sometimes feel unappreciated and invisible.  

And then, there can be these shining moments which transcend all the frustration, fatigue, and desperation.  Mine, was yesterday.  Yes, the kids’ behavior was on par and that was spectacular in and of itself, but I was also given a gift of an encouraging word.  Once you have three children, the general public tends to recoil back, with wide eyes, mouth gaping, wondering how and why you would do such a horrible thing as to bring these three drooling, sticky, loud children out into society where they could wreak havoc of all sorts.  You get comments like “you have your hands full” and “you’re brave” and “you sure are busy”.  While all of those statements are true, they communicate that I am either crazy or incapable (both also true at times).  Wearing my baby wrap at the grocery store, people stare like I am naked.  It’s so strange.  You would think a baby wrapped next to a mommy’s chest would be normal, but it is still being accepted it seems.   

Anyway, the looks, the comments, and the judgement can all be a bit much for a mom who is just trying to do her best, so when someone says something kind and encouraging, it’s almost impossible to believe.  While my kids were being everything I always dreamed they would be, in public, an elderly lady came up to me and told me, “you have a beautiful family, and so well behaved”.  

YES!!! It has finally happened!!  My children were good in public and it was recognized!!! YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! 

“Thank-you so much!”, was all I actually said, but I truly wanted to do a happy dance.  I was also pretty proud of myself for denying the overpowering desire to order a cinnamon roll.  

If you don’t have children, or if you do, you have to know that saying something kind and encouraging like that can absolutely make a mom’s (or dad’s) day.  We may not get recognized very often, and that’s ok, because we aren’t doing this for a grade or a salary.  We’re simply in the business of raising tiny naughty people into big, nice people, but it is OH SO refreshing to get a blessing like that every once in a while.  Just a little pat on the back can get us through severe vomiting, hour long tantrums, and multiple skinned knees.  

So, if you see a mom or dad out with their kids today, try not to judge them for their rabid, rambunctious children, and just give them a word of encouragement.  Even a smile would be nice, because we really are trying.  

And the baby fell asleep:  Awesome.