Blanket Complete and the "No" Monster

It is probably obvious that I haven't been blogging quite as much as I had been.  I am trying to do my best to use my time, well, first of all, to make sure I have a presentable place to live and feed my family, and also to work on that list of projects I posted about on New Years.  So a giant pat on the back to myself: I have finished the blanket I started years and years ago for my wonderful brother-in-law and sister-in-law Jon and Jenn.  Yay!!  It is super wonky, and has lots of holes due to the continued lack of work which lead to loops falling off needles.  BUT, it is done and it is warm.  I will post a picture soon, but they haven't opened it yet and wouldn't want to spoil any surprises. :)


A couple months ago - Post Dirt Snack
In other news, Hayes has learned to say "No".  Here I am again rolling my eyes at my "pre-kid" self.  I always said I would never have a problem with this.  Just discipline them,  ignore, or reinforce appropriate behaviors depending on what is most appropriate in the moment and the behavior will resolve.  AAAAAHHHHNNNN (you just killed the man in "Operation" noise - completely inspired by last night's episode of Modern Family)!!  Anyway, this was incorrect.  In my behavioral science view I never anticipated the will of the toddler to be quite so strong.  It's truly a juggling act, because although I know I could completely stop the use of the word, I don't really want to.  I want him to know he can tell me he isn't comfortable with something.  I want him to be able to express his opinion, his choice, and his desires.  I think a lot of well meaning parents stifle this in their attempts to show the world how well behaved their children are.  "No" means a lot of different things to a little boy with a limited vocabulary.  Not to mention, a lot of the time I know it is my fault.  For example, never, never, never, ask a 16 month old if they want to get their diaper changed, go to bed, or eat their vegetables.  You will always get the same answer and I believe you are all intelligent enough to know what that word is at this point.  Also, I'm pretty sure he had to learn the word somewhere.  It is incredible how many times I find myself saying it.  Even after learning about how important it is to stay away from the negative and use positive words to tell them what you would like for them to do, when your child is grabbing your mug of hot coffee, the first thing that flies out of your mouth is "Nooooo!!!".   I'm trying to tone down my own "neigh saying" but honestly, I'm just sort of proud of myself for not letting any expletives fly out as well.  Once again, my apologies to all of you parents out there that I judged prior to having a child of my own.  If I could go back in time to one of my finger pointing episodes, I would look myself in the eyes, put my hands on my hips and say, "Callie - No!".

Comments

Marilee said…
Saw this on someone else's facebook just now. I thought you might like it outside of the initial condescending tone. http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/to-the-mother-with-only-one-child
Congrats on finishing the blanket!

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