As you are probably well aware, if you have been keeping up with the blog, my son Hayes, now 13 months old, is officially weaned. I cannot tell you how difficult this has been for him and me. I went into probably much too much detail on the physical aspect of the difficulties, but still have yet to share the emotional turmoils. The truth is, breastfeeding was a connection to Hayes that I will never have again. Of course, it can't continue forever, and it was getting a bit weird that he was pulling down my shirt, and other women's, to get at the boob. Alright, alright, so it had to happen, but I am still a bit sad about it. Not to mention, he has been a wreck. Sleeping has never been Hayes' forte, but it has been so much worse. As a school psychologist, I know that sometimes behaviors get worse, before they get better, so I am hoping this is simply the case. I have everyone and the doctor telling me to just let him cry in his crib, but here is my dilemma: I can't. It kills me. I even put headphones on today to drown out the noise, and I got scared by a musical note in a song, thinking it was a death rattle from my son in the other room. Now I know there are some of you reading this thinking I am codling my son. You may be right, but to you I say, "I don't care" and "mind your own business". I mean, really, I am getting sick of the unwanted advice. It started the day he was born. Someone actually suggested I let him cry it out as a newborn. Sorry, not my style. It is really strange to me how people feel they have the right to tell you how to parent. I mean, in no other area of life do people feel comfortable to give the amount of "advice" (aka criticism) as they do in this particular area. For example, if someone came up to you and said, "I think you should be having sex more. It is really better for the overall development of your marriage", you would probably punch them, or at the very least drop your own jaw. However, someone walks up and says, "You really should be letting him cry. It is really better for his development". It is just as personal to me, and yet, I am supposed to take it, and actually THANK them for their advice. Don't get me wrong, I am all for advice, IF I ask for it. I don't pretend to have this all figured out, and I do realize that I am probably wrong, but I don't need you to tell me that. Pride? maybe... But I didn't spend seven years learning about psychology and children to be told I don't know ANYTHING. OK, so I think I may be done venting. I want to be honest with people about what I'm going through, and the honest truth is that parents get judged a whole lot more than you think, when you are childless. I was as guilty as the rest. Once you have you're own baby, it is suddenly not the clear-cut, easy breezy parenting you thought it would be. I mean, I thought I was going to be the bee's knees. Background in school psychology? Multiple parenting books read? Please! I got this! Buuut, I was wrong. Here I am, second guessing everything I do. The point, that I am having a hard time getting to, is that I think we need to be a whole lot easier on each other - as parents, and as people really. It is tempting to believe that our theories will pan out in perfect harmony, but what we have to remember is that not only are our children their own individual selves with little idiosyncrasies we could have never planned for, but so are we. Now - go cut some parents some slack, would you?! Aaand...maybe send me some earplugs. Thanks.
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